


Masterpiece Confection

by dogexmachina



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, it there was a warning for it in the epilogues expect it to be mentioned here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-26 07:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogexmachina/pseuds/dogexmachina
Summary: Four friends refuse to answer the final curtain call and find themselves in a place where they are forced to look at the worst parts of who they are.





	1. Specter's Chord

The void has a funny habit of bending the perception of time and space in such a way that it's nearly impossible to get a full grasp on it. Funny in the disturbing sense, not the comical sense. Jane lets out a huff of a laugh that makes her compatriots on the stage look at her in confusion. Maybe it is a little funny. A dark sort of funny. Fitting.

ROXY: ya good there janey?

Roxy sounds as tired as the rest of them look, but Jane can't bring herself to muster up much sympathy.

JANE: Oh, you know.  
JANE: We've been abandoned in the inky blackness with little in the way of supplies and no way to know if we even truly succeeded in our oh so heroic destinies, since John and the others got shanghai'd to who the fuck knows where and the green braggart who nearly walloped the lot of us was also vanished to parts unknown.  
JANE: We're surviving on the water and food you manage to conjure and who knows how long you can keep that up or how long we can keep living on perfectly generic nutrient bars and lukewarm, slightly iron-flavored water.  
JAKE: (If you let it soak in the water, you can almost get a chowder out of it.)  
DIRK: (I think it's more of a cereal than a chowder.)  
JAKE: (Isnt a cereal just a type of chowder?)  
JANE: That's how things are going in Jane Land.  
JANE: Fatalism, I have answered your call.

Jane is on the floor of the stage, splayed out and eyes directed upward into the infinite darkness. She doesn't look away as she hears fabric rustling and footsteps. Roxy steps into her vision and Jane is forced to meet the extremely concerned look of her friend.

ROXY: sounds p bad  
JANE: We're going to die out here.  
JANE: We're going to die from starvation or insanity or some other malarkey and...

Her vision blurs as the fears flood her mind and tears flood her line of sight. Roxy kneels next to her and Jane doesn't even have the energy to protest as she cups Jane's cheeks.

ROXY: hey hey dont do that come on  
ROXY: this aint the worst situation we been in  
ROXY: it sucks 4 sure but we got each other n were all brainy enough to come up w/ something  
JANE: We have each other.  
ROXY: c u still GOT energy 2 correct my shitty grammar  
ROXY: we got 6 months a gaming survival behind us and we beat the shit outta callies pos brother! we can get outta this

Jane sighs and brushes Roxy's arms away. She sits up and looks to Dirk. He tries to hide that he's been watching them, but for all his attempts to remain completely unfazed by everything, the slight downward quirk of his lip let's Jane know this is all getting to him, too.

JANE: Would you mind offering your sage realism on this matter?  
JANE: Are we fucked or are we fucked?  
DIRK: Not sure what you expect me to say, Jane.  
DIRK: This is the most clear headed I've felt in weeks, honestly.  
DIRK: Everything's quiet out here. Really quiet.  
DIRK: No auto-responder, no infinite circlejerk of my own bullshit weighing down on me.  
DIRK: It's sort of freeing.  
DIRK: In much the same way a skydiver with a suddenly malfunctioning parachute is free, so I'm still a little bugged by all this, but it's still freedom.  
DIRK: At least I know the parachute doesn't work.  
JAKE: Dont worry too much about it, old chap.  
JAKE: Ill lend you my metaphorical parachute.  
DIRK: In this metaphor, all our parachutes are fucked, dude.  
JAKE: Oh.  
JAKE: You can still bum mine, all the same.  
JAKE: Who knows, maybe you can rig up some rube-goldbergian contraption out of our fucked up devices that can save the lot of us.  
DIRK: I...  
DIRK: Thanks, Jake.

He smiles warmly at Dirk, somehow able to summon some form of optimism in the midst of their situation. It's admirable, really.

JAKE: Dont mention it, my best fucking bro.  
ROXY: awww thats sweet  
JANE: Optimism isn't going to save us.  
ROXY: omg jane pls just let it go 4 now  
JANE: No one wants to be the pragmatist, right now! Or the party pooper or the heel or the big fucking jerk, so I guess I have to take up the reins!  
JANE: Get aboard the reality check stagecoach, everyone! We're piling in and heading straight for Nihilism Central! Yee-haw!  
JANE: Unless any of you have a plan!?

There's distinct desperation in Jane's voice. This isn't just a typical tantrum and the way her pitch trembles makes it clear she isn't just being an asshole for the sake of it. She's scared and the request for a plan is as much a taunt as it is a plea for something, anything, that will get them out of this.

No one answers as they all look to each other with the same silent question. Jane drops to her knees and hugs herself as the reality of their situation slots into it's final, horrid configuration: They are well and truly fucked.

JANE: So this is it?  
JANE: This can't be it.  
JANE: After everything we went through, this can't be it.  
DIRK: It can.  
JANE: What?  
DIRK: Paradox Space doesn't actually give a shit about us getting a decent outcome out of everything.  
ROXY: not helping  
DIRK: It's the truth.  
DIRK: We're just small cogs in a much bigger machine and, as much as it sucks, maybe this is all we get.  
DIRK: At least we served a purpose instead of pointlessly flailing around in the session like a bunch of puppets left in zero gravity.  
DIRK: Our strings are cut and we're falling, but at least there's a direction. Even if it is down.

They all fall silent again, unable to look at each other. Jane let's out a shuddering breath like a sob and Roxy can't help but try to comfort her friend. She just wants, so badly, for all of them to be happy. If she could reach into the void and tear that happiness out of it, she'd do it without question. If...huh...

ROXY: hey jake  
JAKE: Hm?  
ROXY: ur big gay hope bubble  
ROXY: u think u can do that again?  
JAKE: Im not sure?  
JAKE: It was a very spur of the moment happenstance. nothing like desperation and feelings of hot, inspiring bro chivalry to get the hope engine raring to go!  
ROXY: lmao wow  
JAKE: That said, i suppose our situation doesnt get much more desperate than it is now.  
JAKE: Why do you ask?  
ROXY: cuz i gots an idea

Jane and Dirk find themselves listening much more intently than they expected. The fact that their last hope literally may lay with their Hope player makes them both quietly consider if they can somehow find the source of all serendipity and beat the shit out of it. Yet, they can't deny their desire to hear out whatever Roxy has planned.

ROXY: so like  
ROXY: what if we somehow combined our powers  
ROXY: u do ur hopey thing i do my voidy thing n  
ROXY: i dunno  
ROXY: we take us 2 our last hope in the void or something  
ROXY: just spitballing here  
JAKE: That sounds like a stretch, but maybe a stretch is what we need!  
ROXY: o fuck yeah does this mean ur in?  
JAKE: Im in it to win it, roxy!  
JAKE: Lets see if we cant make like a couple of leprechauns and jig us up some lucky charms!  
DIRK: Gross.  
DIRK: What do you want Jane and I to do?  
ROXY: stay close  
ROXY: this might b a one way trip  
ROXY: or it aint going to work at all but its all we got  
DIRK: Fair enough.

Jane watches, fretful, as they all hold hands. Roxy on Jake's left, Dirk on Jake's right. They all look to Jane to complete the probably completely unnecessary friend rhombus. It's the thought that counts in situations like this. There's no point to decorum or propriety if it meant she'd be puncturing the very thin, soapy film that was the foundation of their current goal. If even Dirk can shut up and join in, why can't she?

Why can't she?

Tentatively, Jane takes Roxy and Dirk's offered hands into her own and gives them a small smile. Her throat and lips are dry and not just from lack of hydration. This is all they have. And if this is all they have, then she needs to believe in it. With everything she can muster, she closes her eyes and focuses on a single thought: "I believe in my friends."

ROXY: here we go  
ROXY: just gotta  
ROXY: voidy thing our asses some place better  
JAKE: In for a penny, in for a pound.  
JAKE: TALLY-HO!

Nothing happens at first. Roxy and Jake simply stand there, eyes wound shut and grips clamped down hard enough that Jane and Dirk each wince. Dirk's doubt in the situation begins to climb when Jake unclenches every muscle in his body and his shoulders sag forward. Roxy does the same, but instead tosses her head back with a sigh.

JAKE: I dont think this is going to do anything.  
ROXY: yeh i guess not  
DIRK: Worth a shot, at least.  
DIRK: Nice try, you two.  
JANE: No.  
DIRK: What?  
JANE: Try again.  
DIRK: It's pretty obvious it's not working.  
JANE: Then we all try again.  
ROXY: janey failure was a legit possibility  
ROXY: it was a long shot  
ROXY: its ok  
ROXY: maybe we can i dunno  
ROXY: live out our lives here  
ROXY: i can voidy thing us some nice digs i bet n give me some time n i can make more complex and cool stuff  
ROXY: it might just b the 4 of us but we could b happy i think  
JANE: No!

The shout is enough to get them all to focus on Jane. There are tears running down her cheeks, all semblance of control over her emotions dropped.

JANE: I don't care if we're tired.  
JANE: I don't care if we have to try a million times.  
JANE: Our planet is gone.  
JANE: Our universe is gone.  
JANE: Everything we have ever known or cared about or had even a remote connection to is GONE!  
JANE: Frankly, I am FUCKING TIRED OF WHATEVER COUNTS FOR A DIVINE FORCE IN THIS SICK GAME TAKING AND TAKING AND TAKING!  
JANE: Aren't you!?  
DIRK: Yes.  
ROXY: sorta  
JAKE: If were being honest...  
JANE: Then it's high time we took something of our own.  
JANE: We're snatching SOME kind of victory from the jaws of defeat and if those jaws seek to close around us, we are GOING TO PUNCH THEM OUT OF WHATEVER SCUM SUCKING MAW THEY BELONG TO!  
JANE: ARE YOU WITH ME!?  
ROXY: gdam janey  
ROXY: u no what?  
ROXY: yeah lets do this again  
JAKE: If it gets you to tone down the volume, then i can agree to putting out some effort one more time.  
JAKE: Theres really no need to shout, old girl, were right fucking here.  
DIRK: Nah, it's good.  
DIRK: This is pretty cool, honestly.  
DIRK: Here we are, just about to hand ourselves over to the despair of an existence out in the middle of absolutely nothing and Jane is hoisting us up by our belts and telling us to get back in the game like an angry, old football coach.  
DIRK: Ass slaps and helmet knocks all around, team.  
DIRK: We'll get some Powerade and pour it over Jane once we've won the Big Game.  
JANE: Ew.  
ROXY: its tradition coach janey  
ROXY: omg youd look adorbs in a lil coachs outfit  
ROXY: even get u a lil mustache to rustle all irritably when we miss the hot scores 4 the big game  
JANE: How dare you try to make me less angry by appealing to my love of mustaches.  
ROXY: its totes working tho  
JANE: You're right.  
ROXY: lol  
JAKE: Ready when you are, roxy.  
ROXY: lets fire up that hope engine then  
JAKE: Then, if you all dont mind? On three!  
JAKE: One!  
DIRK: No.  
JAKE: Two!  
DIRK: Absolutely not.  
JAKE: Three!  
DIRK: You cannot make me do this.  
JAKE: TALLY-HO!  
ROXY: tally hoe!!  
JANE: TALLY HO!

Dirk's sigh does nothing to deter the expectant looks from his friends. He shakes his head and meets Jake's eyes. For a moment, Jake expects he's going to let go of his and Jane's hands and go sulk in a corner of the stage. Instead, his sour expression softens and he nods in that smooth, irreplicable way only Dirk Strider can.

DIRK: If I were a more sentimental fucker, I'd get swept in the moment and give some long-winded diatribe meant to further inspire everyone, but Jane had that covered and you don't need it from me, anyway. You've got this.  
DIRK: I believe in you.  
DIRK: Tally-fucking-ho.

This time, they all close their eyes, thinking maybe all their powers will somehow magically work in tandem to transport them to a better place.

Nothing happens again and Jane opens her eyes, lips pursed in frustration.

JANE: I guess this means we...  
DIRK: Uh, Jane.

Jane looks up to Dirk, then to Roxy and Jake. Both of them have their eyes and mouths wide open. A thick, dark blue, almost black, smoke streams forth from Roxy's face and Jake's is almost impossible to look at thanks to the blazing, molten white light pouring from his mouth and eyes. Jane and Dirk veer right into panic when the forces summoned from their gambit swirl around them, swallowing them all and tugging them into a place between light and darkness.

Fraymotifs are always flashy and powerful, but never really all that useful save in combat situations. However, Roxy and Jake's idea isn't unfounded. A rare moment of shared focus, singularly meant to steal the Hope from the Void of a hopeless situation, lends itself well to doing the impossible. A Specter's Chord, played at the most dire moment.

In any other circumstance, it would be impossible for them to find their way to the black hole now rooted firmly at the center of Paradox Space. Yet, here they are, spirited away across multiple fractal dimensions of time and space to end up at the event horizon of easily the most horrifying thing any of them have seen. Jake and Roxy are unconscious, leaving Jane and Dirk the sole responsibility of eyeing the monstrosity before them. Impossibly massive and so dark that the very concept of light seems to vanish from the mind while looking into it.

Jane holds Roxy's hand tightly to prevent her from drifting away and Dirk does the same for Jake.

JANE: What...is that?  
DIRK: Something fucked up.  
JANE: Clearly.  
JANE: Is this our escape?  
JANE: I don't understand how that could be the case.  
JANE: Maybe we need to wake them up.  
DIRK: It's fine.  
JANE: Is it!?  
DIRK: I don't know. I'm trying to keep calm about the situation because I'm super close to losing my shit.  
DIRK: You think you're the only scared one here?  
JANE: ...You don't get scared.  
DIRK: Yeah, well.  
DIRK: Guess the reality check stagecoach basically ran me the fuck over to deliver that information.  
DIRK: Betrayed by horses.  
DIRK: I think I would have preferred decapitation to this.  
JANE: I'll be sure to let management know that the stagecoach ruined your love of horses.  
DIRK: Thanks.

The black hole's silent roar somehow grows louder and Jane worries she's going to be eaten by it at any moment. It feels almost tempting to let it, but that would be absurd.

And yet.

??????: hello  
DIRK: Hey.  
JANE: Hi.

Jane and Dirk both swing around in shock as they suddenly become aware of the person they greeted absent-mindedly. A troll woman with curling horns and long curly black hair She's wearing an outfit similar to Jane's, but red and featuring a brighter red gear on her chest. Maroon wings flutter and sparkle behind her as she smiles pleasantly at the group. The smile itself isn't pleasant, but she's delivering it that way. It doesn't fade as she directs her eyes to the black hole.

??????: isnt it lovely?  
DIRK: Yeah. Sure? I guess, in a way it is pretty. In the same way a car crash or a typhoon is a pretty. I'm sure someone is getting off to it.  
JANE: Who are you?  
ARADIA: im aradia!  
ARADIA: and none of you look dead, so thats interesting  
JANE: Last I checked, we're still very painfully alive.  
ARADIA: neat  
ARADIA: try to stay that way  
ARADIA: its nice seeing some other living people out here  
ARADIA: ive been wandering alone for a while and its been getting very dull  
ARADIA: im going to go see whats up with that black hole  
ARADIA: you should come!  
DIRK: Why?

Dirk's question is delivered with all the grace of a man falling over his ice skates, attempting to preserve his dignity and butt from being broken, and failing at both.

ARADIA: why not?

Neither Jane or Dirk have a good response to that and Jake and Roxy are still too unconscious to offer their collective four cents. Jane and Dirk look at each other with apprehension and turn back to try and answer Aradia, but Jane is cut off by a sudden invasion of personal space. Aradia is practically pressing their noses together.

JANE: Wha!  
ARADIA: you can mull it over, but theres really not going to be anything else out here soon  
ARADIA: its going to be terribly boring  
ARADIA: see you around! :D  
JANE: Buh?

Aradia pulls away and waves at them, then rockets off into the blackhole. The last they see of her is her image being stretched and warped infinitely into the blackhole before fading into its depths. Neither really cared for the look of that.

DIRK: Will we be going in?  
JANE: I...I think we have to?  
DIRK: What makes you say that?  
JANE: Roxy and Jake brought us here.  
JANE: ...I trust that they brought us to the right place.  
DIRK: That's weirdly naive of you, but okay.  
DIRK: I'd veto this decision, but I get the feeling you're going to make it regardless.  
JANE: You are correct. Hoo hoo!  
DIRK: Awesome.  
DIRK: Hey, so...  
DIRK: If we die?

Jane puts the palm of her hand on his mouth.

JANE: We won't.  
JANE: Not now.

She pulls her hand away, a smile on her face and eyes resolute.

DIRK: Okay, fine.  
DIRK: Let's assume, foolishly, that we survive.  
DIRK: I just wanted you to know that you're...you know.  
DIRK: My friend.  
DIRK: And uh...Shit, I cannot do this.  
DIRK: I feel like my teeth want to rot out of my mouth from this saccharine drivel spewing from me.  
DIRK: Of course you're my friend. What kind of stupid ass statement is that? I...

Jane waves her hand in an upward directed flapping motion, as if using the action to dispel his thoughts and any track he may have been driving the conversation down.

JANE: Dirk.  
JANE: You're my friend, too.

He can't deny that the statement warms his heart in a way he hates.

DIRK: Thanks for completely disrespecting norms and putting me on the spot with this sincerity.  
DIRK: You're a piece of work, Jane.  
JANE: Hoo hoo! I learn from the best.  
DIRK: Liar. Thanks, but you're still lying.  
JANE: Maybe I was talking about the clown?  
DIRK: Hahaha, yeah, bullshit.  
JANE: Yes, sorry. I can't believe I said that with a straight face.  
JANE: Fuck that guy.  
DIRK: And fuck second guessing ourselves.  
DIRK: We've been through hell already.  
DIRK: Let's see what else the Inferno has to throw at us.

She nods. There's a sense of finality to it. She takes Dirk's hand, an unconscious Roxy still held firmly in the other. Jake's unconscious body was equally restrained by Dirk. Their fear is almost overpowering, but they've made it this far.

And with any luck, no matter what awaits them, they'll make it through that, too. Together.

In unison, they begin their descent and, in unison, they feel their bodies dragged into the abyss.


	2. Life Parallels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parallel as tines on a fork

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED.  
KARKAT: WHAT WAS THAT?  
MEENAH: hooked pike lord english to me  


Commander Karkat Vantas, leader of the rebellion and currently leaking copious amounts of blood on to the remains of a flipped tank, turns very slowly to glare at Meenah. The arrangement of words should strike fear into him, but the only thing he feels when he processes "hooked pike lord english to me" is a big, fat wad of disgust. Not at the fish puns, he learned long ago to just let that be. It is at how fucking nonchalant his partner is about the literal most destructive force in all of existence crashing into the midst of their battle and laying waste to so many ghost troops, he's fairly certain they've lost the sheer number advantage that would win them the war. The only saving grace is that Crocker's troops took a beating, too.

KARKAT: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT SO CALMLY?  
KARKAT: LORD ENGLISH?  
KARKAT: LORD FUCKING ENGLISH!?  
MEENAH: cant bereef yoar surprised aboat this nubs  
MEENAH: i did say that fighting him was a wash didnt i?  
MEENAH: where ya sink all these ghosts been coming from  
MEENAH: same place he was  
MEENAH: makes sense we would sea him again at some point  
KARKAT: OKAY, YEAH, MAYBE THAT WASN'T AS SURPRISING AS I'M MAKING IT OUT TO BE.  
KARKAT: BUT YOU SAW THE OTHER PERSON!  
KARKAT: YOU SAW JADE SHOW UP, PUNCH HIM, AND SEND HIM FLYING OVER THE HORIZON.  
KARKAT: I THINK THAT WAS THE DEAD JADE THAT SHOWED UP FOREVER AGO.  
KARKAT: I THOUGHT SHE JUST FUCKING VANISHED.  
KARKAT: THE LAST THING I EXPECTED WAS FOR HER TO POP IN, PUNT HIM, THEN GO CHASING AFTER HIM LIKE A FUCKING FRISBEE!  
MEENAH: pretty shore she dont like the dogs jokes  
KARKAT: WHAT? NO, THEY'RE FINE. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE THEM. HAVE YOU TWO LITERALLY EVER TALKED?  
MEENAH: couple tines  
MEENAH: anywave that aint too important  
MEENAH: this battle aint happening since big green and jacked dropped in and made pike the most deadly laser show on earth sea  
MEENAH: oh well water ya gonna do  


Meenah, perched on her part of the tank at her usual two feet away from Karkat, blows a bubble into the bubblegum she's been chewing the whole conversation and buffs her finger nails in boredom. How did anyone get bored of anything so fast? It's like she needs a constant outside conflict or she just finds a way to preoccupy herself with...well...herself. Karkat's gratitude extended to her military acumen and ability to keep him alive and it ended right about there. Then again, he...supposes he is the same way. As fucked up as it is, he's a little grateful for the sudden Cherub onslaught.

After all, he's dedicated so much of his life to war. What will he actually do when it's over?

What will Meenah do when it's over? It's not like he can ignore that she has the potential to be the Condesce and, honestly, he can't take her in a fight. The whole "big fish numero dos" title she's taken is mostly figurative. He rouses the troops and gets everyone raring to face impossible odds. He's good at that. However, the actual battle portion of all of this? The fact that they have the tools they do, the weapons? That's all her.

MEENAH: yo crabcakes  
MEENAH: you listening?  
KARKAT: SORRY, WHAT?  
MEENAH: fucking a  
MEENAH: you krilling me nubs  
MEENAH: is this how all you peeps get when you start getting on in years?  
MEENAH: gettin all wistful n shit like its going to help you when you got things to do in the here and now  
KARKAT: GET OFF MY BULGE.  
KARKAT: CAN'T A GUY HAVE TWO SECONDS OF THINKPAN MULLING TO HIMSELF?  
MEENAH: thinkin aboat shades?  


Meenah gives him the smuggest smile she can possibly manage and he can't even hide the way he tenses just a little because she fucking has his number every single time.

KARKAT: WHAT DID YOU ASK?  
MEENAH: yeah shore just retreat from the subject like ushoal  
MEENAH: cod  
MEENAH: you want healing or naut?  
KARKAT: HUH?  
MEENAH: you confused from bloodloss or somefin?  
MEENAH: i just asked if you want me to plant my hand on yo face  
MEENAH: and pap those wounds away  
KARKAT: YOU HAVE A CHARGE?  
MEENAH: nah but gimme a minute  
MEENAH: p shore theres some bait out here  
MEENAH: just gotta go hunting  


Meenah pushes off the tank, yanking the gold plated trident she embedded into it out in one smooth motion with the ease of pulling a knife out of warm butter. If he's being honest, he hates this part. Her powers are what allow him to keep fighting, what allow him to stay relatively young and able-bodied. If it keeps going like this, he'll probably be able to keep up for centuries to come. She can't revive him, but she can knit him back together using...

MEENAH: here we go!  
MEENAH: hey, monkey  
MEENAH: you looking pretty bad there  
MEENAH: you know what a mercy culling is?  


The grunts of someone struggling for their life don't last long. Karkat ignores how sick it makes him feel to hear the gasp of someone having the literal life torn from their body, like a fruit plucked from a tree and stored in a jar to be consumed later. When Meenah approaches him once more, she has her trident resting on one shoulder , steadied by one hand. The other hand is raised and a sickly fuschia aura drips from it. It's reminds him of the way oil moves, only somehow falling upward. She flexes her fingers, turns her hand this way and that, admires the glow of a life literally trapped in her hands. She's fascinated by it the same way wriggler is fascinated by a chew toy. It's a play thing. Nothing more.

The light from it makes her look beautiful and terrifying and he's reminded not for the first who exactly this woman became in a different life.

MEENAH: dont gimme that look  
KARKAT: I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY LOOK.  
MEENAH: uh yeah you is?  
MEENAH: we discussed this  
MEENAH: i only take from the monkeys that are trying to krill us  
KARKAT: I REALLY WISH YOU WOULDN'T CALL THEM THAT.  
MEENAH: what MONK--EYS?  
MEENAH: buoy thats what they are  
MEENAH: and cut me some slack  
MEENAH: i only call the ones aiming to tear our pumps out that  
MEENAH: aint like id ever call S)(AD--ES that  
MEENAH: or poochie  
MEENAH: but ya dont actually care aboat her as much do you?  


Karkat hasn't looked at her the entire time she's stood there. She sighs, spins her fork over her arm with a flourish, and stabs it into the ground. Her hand, the glowing one, slip under Karkat's chin and tilts his head up to look her in the eyes. She looks down at him with an imperious condescension and the thought is so on the nose that he wants to punch himself. What else is he supposed to think, though? The tilt of her chin, the narrow of her eyelids, the quirk of her mouth and pout of her lips, the black and fuschia-lined body suit with the red officer's jacket worn over it. Everything about her feels like it's from a different and scarier time. Fuschia irises scan his face, trying to judge for something he's not sure he wants to understand. She kisses her teeth as though something occured to her. The look softens slightly when she catches on to the irritation barely contained under his features.

A bolt of blue lightning arcs from some place far enough that he can't see and thunder echoes throughout the battlefield. It may be important, but he can't pull his eyes from Meenah.

MEENAH: shouty  
MEENAH: im not doing this just for me  
MEENAH: the resistance needs somefin and someone to bereef in  
MEENAH: hope is what unites the people and you the hope of a shoal lotta peeps  
MEENAH: so maybe we gotta off a couple of...  
MEENAH: prawnblem cases  
MEENAH: like the chump i just drained  
MEENAH: but keeping you alive is finportant  
MEENAH: and we both know i aint giving up my bling  


She wiggles the finger her ring is on.

MEENAH: so we gotta use alternative nub fuel  
MEENAH: ya dig?  
KARKAT: I'M NOT CONCERNED ABOUT KILLING THEM.  
KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BORED AND DECIDE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS RESISTANCE, ANYMORE?  
KARKAT: DON'T ACT LIKE IT HASN'T CROSSED YOUR PAN.  


A scoff and an eyeroll is the answer for his concern.

MEENAH: imma pretend you didnt just insult me with the insinuation that im going anywhere  
MEENAH: this is my fight too crabsnack  
MEENAH: and im having fun with this fight  
MEENAH: so i plan to stick around for a long long long tine  
MEENAH: and i need you around to keep it finterestin  
MEENAH: so take your medicine

Karkat winces, his one good eye squeezing shut as the held life is dispered into his body, the pink, oily aura slipping over his skin and sublimating into his being. His wounds knit almost immediately and within seconds he feels invigorated once more. When he opens his eye, he stands with renewed energy and knocks Meenah's hand away.

KARKAT: WE'RE MOVING AND SEEING WHAT TROOPS WE CAN FIND.  
KARKAT: THAT'S AN ORDER.  
MEENAH: FUCK Y--ES! T)(AT'S MOR--E PIK--E IT!  
MEENAH: cod if it were anyone else talking to me that wave  
MEENAH: yoare lucky yoare so hot  


Karkat rolls his eye with enough extra emphasis that the rest of his head motions in an arc to follow it. He doesn't bother talking any further with her as he turns to look over the remains of his army. As he marches forward, he looks up and sees another hole open up in the sky. The phenomenon is so common place, that he'd usually only give it a glance, but this hole is larger than any he's ever seen. Looking up at it fills him with a sense of dread that he can't quite place.

KANAYA: Karkat  


He looks up to see Kanaya rushing up to him, her body slowing from the blur of speed she became when she put her Rainbow Drinker Speed on full throttle. Rose isn't far behind, flying in alongside and drifting to a stop where she remained hovering to stand at shoulder height with her wife. Karkat usually finds it funny when she does this, but the look on both their faces makes any humorous jabs he has directed at them die out in his throat.

Rose holds out one of their radios. He hadn't even realized his is broken. It must have been damaged during the destruction laid out by Lord English. Rose's hands are trembling, even as her face remains set in practiced stoicism.

ROSE: You'll want to take this.  


He's not sure he wants to. He looks to Meenah who, for once, isn't harassing any of them for their too serious demeanors. That confirms the worst for him. Something is wrong. He takes the radio and brings it to his ear. He hears the sniffling of someone he still cares for deeply, regardless of the problems they've run into over the years.

KARKAT: JADE?  
KARKAT: IT'S KARKAT. WHAT'S WRONG?  


She didn't cry around him enough for it to be a familiar sound, but he knows it's her and it makes it that much worse when she finally speaks up. Her voice cracks with sorrow and the words she says hollow his insides out.

JADE: im so sorry  
JADE: its dave  
JADE: daves gone  


\----

JANE: What  
JANE: Was  
JANE: That?  


Madam Jane Crocker, a rare sight on the battlefield, has joined her troops to lead the charge that was supposed to signal the death knell of the resistance once and for all. She had a special present lined up just for them. It didn't matter how many ghosts they had, they wouldn't last in the face of her overwhelming power when she used the Trickster Lollipop. It would have been a spectral bloodbath.  
It was, technically, but not for the reasons she expected. An enormous monster fell out of the sky, devastated both armies, and was then punted over the horizon by a version of Jade she hasn't seen in decades. So it's completely understandable that the entire experience left her feeling some sort of way about the situation. Definitely not a good way. At least Karkat's forces are as fucked as hers are. The bastard is probably still alive. He's lucky that way.

Her question is finally answered with a bunch of mumbles and croaky hemming and hawing. She sighs and turns to look at her generals, only casting a glare over her shoulder at them as she floats a good foot off the ground. The figure hugging, red body suit was designed for combat and the new tiaratop gave her full access to the battery of weapons equipped to her flagship, but it's all just useless grand standing if she can't actual engage the enemy because of some freak weather event like it raining hulking, green, skull monsters.

It hits her all at once what that was. A cherub. A fully matured cherub, from the looks of it, and the conversations Jane has had with Calliope and Roxy let her fill in the blanks.

That was Lord English.

For a moment, she balks at the fact that they had been in the presence of the single greatest threat existence had ever faced, but she was quick to dismiss the thought. The monster had his fun and was promptly dealt with by an apparent divine canine benefactor. He may have ruined the current battle, but there will be others. Jane has planning to do.

She turns to her generals more fully, pulling from her reverie to regard them more properly.

JANE: We narrowly avoided a direct confrontation with Lord English.  
JANE: I'm sure your schooling has covered what his portion in your history was.  
JANE: Congratulations, everyone. You met a historical figure and survived. Isn't that nice?  
JANE: Now.  


She claps her gloved hands, lips quirked into a mask of a smile. She hasn't worn a real smile in years. They know it's a mask.

JANE: Gather yourselves together. We're retreating, for now.  
JANE: The rebel forces are in equal shambles and I need to get up to the flagship to properly assess the damage to our resources.  
JANE: I'll perform a revival on whoever I am able and we can send a signal to have them return.  
JANE: Do hurry along.  
JANE: Ta-ta.  


They give her a salute as she looks up toward her the jewel of Crocker Corps armory, the Battleship Sucrose. She picks up speed as she hurtles upward, past the entrance she typically used, and toward the top of it's hull. She settles easily at the tip of the ship's nose, wind whipping around as she flicks her arm out to one side and summons the Trickster Lollipop. The tiaratop feeds information to her glasses and the tracker tags attached to each of her soldiers lights up on a virtual HUD displayed for her to easily see where they are. The Lollipop is brought to her lips and there is no struggle against it like a lifetime ago. The power it floods her with is a welcome rush of sensation. She lets out a giddy laugh as pink pigmentation floods out from her roots, washing out her natural color. Her pupils dilate and she feels herself nearly double over with laughter. Cyan swirls paint themselves into her cheeks and her usual firey, cyan Life aura explodes from her, engulging the front of the ship. She captchalogues the Trickster Lollipop with a flick of her hand and brings her now empty palm up to face the sky. The Life aura twists and compounds into a single point so bright it would be painful for anyone to look at. With another laugh, she whips her hand out, directing the powerful Life force to arc and twist into the sky like a lightning bolt. It moves so fast and with such ferocity that it causes thunder to ring out. A literal spark of life, offered to each of the loyal servants of Crocker Corp. Free of charge, of course.

Her wide, self-satisfied grin falters when a message appears on her HUD. Of course, someone just has to interrupt her fun.

JADE: jane  
JADE: jane are you there?  
JADE: i know youre there  
JADE: im going to be landing on your ship soon  


This makes Jane's smile fade completely. Jade hadn't spoken to her in ages. What caused this change? Her ungrateful ectospawn likely wants some sort of handout, but that's all anyone ever really wants these days. She supposes she can't blame her. It's not like Dave was taking care of the poor girl's needs properly. Before she has a chance to answer, Jane receives a call from Jade. Well. At least that speeds things up.

JANE: Hello, Jade.  
JADE: youre on the ship, right?  


She sounds desperate. There's a very real twinge of sympathy that spikes through Jane as she hears Jade's plea.

JANE: Yes, dear.  
JANE: What can I help you with?  
JADE: your voice sounds weird  
JANE: It's the Trickster Lollipop.  
JANE: It does that.  
JANE: Now how can I assist?  
JADE: god  
JADE: okay i dont  
JADE: i dont have time to deal with your weird substance abuse right now  
JANE: Excuse me?  
JADE: are you focused enough to revive someone?  
JANE: Ohoho! Hoo hoo! Jade, I just revived an entire army.  
JANE: I'm set to keep this ball rolling if you are.  
JANE: Did you find some poor soul in need of a quick pick me up, again?  
JANE: I hope this isn't like the last time you needed me to do this.  
JANE: That was upsetting for everyone. Hoo hoo!  


The call drops and Jane scoffs at the rudeness of some people. The nerve! Calling her up and asking her for help out of the blue. And accusing her of having a drug problem!? The bitch.

A sound like the air itself cracking boomed out behind Jane and she instinctly whipped out her battle fork, aiming at it the source of the noise. Standing right there, static arcing off her body from the displacement of air and the defiance of physics, is Jade. She must have moved at literal lightspeed to get here. Her eyes aren't visible behind the sheen of her glasses and the wind whipping around makes her cut a fearsome figure. Jane lowers her fork as her smile drops, the sobering effect of Jade's arrival causing the Trickster transformation to fade more quickly.

JADE: help him  


Jade's voice causes the air around her to shudder and Jane takes a step back. She, just like everyone else, often forgot that Jade was the single most powerful being among their group. Even without the Green Sun, none of them could stand toe to toe with her. Jane shakes herself from the instinctual fear and looks down, only just now realizing she's cradling a body. A body that looks...remarkably like...

JANE: Dave?  
JADE: you have to help him  
JANE: I'll do what I can. Please, let's go inside.  
JADE: do you have a radio?  
JADE: i...  
JADE: i want you to try  
JADE: but i need to be ready, just in case  
JADE: i might have a call i have to make  
JANE: Do you not think I can do this?  
JADE: i dont know  
JADE: there was someone where i found dave  
JADE: and after the conversation i had with him  


She goes silent a moment.

JANE: With who?  
JADE: it doesnt matter  
JADE: i just want to try  
JADE: thats all i have  
JADE: i just need you to try  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was listening to this for the entirety of writing this chapter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf_EvjG7Ir8


	3. 0̷͖̆1̴̛̻1̴͎́1̸̹͗0̴͍͝0̶̪̓1̴̛̟1̷̭͠ ̶̜̑0̷̼̈́1̸̛̙1̷̘̆0̷̡̛0̷͕̈́0̴̘̋1̵͙̊1̵̱͐ ̶̪͝0̵͕͂1̸̛̮1̶̤͆1̸͉̏0̸͈̕0̸͇͒1̶͖̚0̸̩͌ ̸̮̍0̵̣̓1̶̜̀1̶̤̂0̶̘̒0̶̺̊0̷͈̏0̸̣̐1̶̭̓ ̸̼͌0̴̨̂1̸̟͂1̷͖̈1̴͍͂0̷̲̈́1̶̣͌0̴̬0̸̅ͅ ̵͔̕0̴̈͜1̸̘̑1̶̻͐0̴̼̍0̸͕́0̶̣̔1̷̪̒1̴̟̒ ̵͊͜0̷̣̒1̷̯͊1̷̫̑0̸̟̊1̴͔̇0̴̟̈0̴̪̍0̷̠̅

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats no good


End file.
